Who are you being?
Updated: Apr 6
Who you are being and what you are doing equals what you have.
A lot of people believe that the more they do, the more they have, the happier they’ll be but there is actually a popular goal-setting exercise which totally reverses this thinking. This is the Be, Do, Have model and is one of the leadership mindset methodologies I teach.
When we are thinking about what our ambitions and desires for the future, most people think they need to have certain things (more money, time, love, experience) so that they can do something important (start a business, buy a home, pursue a new relationship, travel the world), which in turn will allow them to be happier, inspired, peaceful.
Be, Do, Have suggests that it works the other way around and that we should start with focusing on the feelings of ‘being’ what we want (peaceful, inspired, successful) first because when we then start doing things from this state of being, it brings us the things we have always wanted to have.
This is a paradigm shift but if you think about living in alignment with ‘Be, Do, Have’ more of the time it can really alter your outlook on life. The order of the model is important. You start with what kind of person you have to be to reach a specific goal which in turn leads you to consider what you need to do to succeed. And finally you can focus on what you will have as a result.
What if you remembered that you have the capacity to experience any state of being at any time – not just when things work out ‘perfectly’ or you achieve exactly what you want? There’s nothing wrong with going for your goals and dreams but when we are purely focused on the outcomes we want to have we can set ourselves up for disappointment when things don’t go exactly to that plan.
Focusing on how we are being in life creates the context for how we think, feel and act – these ultimately create our reality. A simple way of remembering this is to bear in mind we are human beings, not doings! Still confused as to where to start? Here are my tips to get you started…
Start embodying the desired states of being what you really want in your life. This isn’t about faking it; it is about getting into the feeling of already having achieved it. If you want to be happier, how would it feel to be happy?
From this state of being think and talk about the kinds of things you would be doing and the actions you would be taking. You can have some fun with this – how might you behave if you were already your future self? What would you say yes to, what would be a no?
Make a list of your top ‘Be, Do, Have’ priorities. If you want to have a best-selling novel, you need to behave like a writer and take action to write regularly. If you want to have more wealth in your business, you need to work with more clients, which might involve you being more visible in networking events or online through marketing.
You can use Be, Do, Have in every aspect of your life and it is a great model to help people who are stuck in the victim mindset and feel like they cannot change their outcome in life. This leads to one of my favourite mantras – change your mindset, change your life!
If you enjoyed this blog and would like to know more about be, do, have, and other leadership mindset tools - grab yourself a copy of my book DON'T DIM TO FIT IN